Trust is defined as “firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.”
Trust is one of those funny things…its kind of a gamble, isn’t it? If I trust someone and they aren’t trustworthy, I get hurt. But if I try to control everything all the time, I’ll become so anxious and worried I won’t have a very good time. And control is an illusion anyway. Who really has control over anything?
I’m reminded of the Pixar movie “Finding Nemo”. I wrote in my book about watching this movie with my kids and realizing I was like Marlin – the father clownfish. Anxious, neurotic and controlling. And I did not want to be like that! There was a point in the movie where Marlin had teamed up with a kind, generous, helpful, absent-minded partner to help him find his son. Dory was carefree and trusting. She made friends and was well liked wherever they went. Marlin, on the other hand, was difficult and annoying.
The different approaches, and results, of these two opposite perspectives to life came to a head when Dory and Marlin caught a ride inside a whale. The whale communicated to Dory to “go to the back of the throat”. She didn’t know what that meant, but she trusted that it would be in her best interest. Marlin, on the other hand, had a meltdown of sorts and figured these instructions meant that the whale intended to eat them. Marlin was clinging to the inside of the whale’s mouth with everything he had, and Dory told him it was time to let go. He asked, “how do you know it will be alright?” Dory said she didn’t know, but they would just trust that everything would work out fine.
Marlin remembered another time when he disagreed with her, they did things his way and it ended badly. So, this time, he relented. He let go.
The two wee fish were blown sky high out of the whale’s blow hole and landed safely in the Sydney Australia harbour, which was their destination.
How much like Marlin can we be sometimes? Clinging hopelessly to wrong thoughts and ideas that only make our situation worse.
What if we just try something, and trust that it will all work out fine?
Even if it doesn’t turn out exactly like we had in mind, it will be what it will be, and we can continue on accordingly. Just about anything is better than living life gripped by fear, control and mistrust. I suppose that is where the concept of “it’s the journey, not the destination” comes from. And then there is who we become in the process. Marlin went from anxious, fearful, controlling and neurotic to calm, relaxed, happy and fun to be with. And his relationship with his son went from his son hating him to them genuinely enjoying each other’s company.
We will end up where we end up. But did we enjoy the ride? The journey is so much longer than the destination. Once we arrive, that’s it. Then what? Another journey to another destination.
We are journeying more than we are arriving.
The next time I’m feeling anxious, neurotic or controlling, I will try to remember Marlin. And how much better things were when he just let go and trusted everything would be ok. And it was. Better, actually.
I’m reminded again of Henry Ford’s comment “whether you believe you can, or you can’t, you’re right”. It comes down to what we believe. Let’s believe that when we trust that everything will be alright, and let go of our need to control and our anxiety, that everything really will be alright.
Believe. Trust. Peace.
