One of the sayings I like is “Start with the assumption that the current way its being done is not the best way to do it.”
I thought this was an interesting spin on “doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result is insanity”.
My mother had a personality disorder, and growing up in such a toxic environment had me retreating into myself and becoming resourceful as a survival mechanism. Interestingly, these very skills helped me when I became a widowed single parent to 3 children. I was accustomed to figuring things out myself, and managing by myself. Mostly.
When I came upon that saying, to assume that the current way things are being done is not the best way to do it, was an aha! moment for me. What worked before, or what worked for everyone else, probably wouldn’t work for me, because my situation was so different. And if I tried to manage one way and it didn’t work, why would I keep trying that and expect a different result? It became time to do things a different way.
I was extremely fortunate to have some financial resources. I could get by with a part time job. My kids had already lost their father, and I did not want to be gone working all the time. I know boys can derail quickly if left to their own devices, so it was important for me to be there for them as much as possible. The part time job allowed me to work from home over the summer and on school breaks. I grew from that into starting my own business so I could work from home all the time. That proved to be a game changer. I was home when the boys came home from school and could take them to their martial arts class. Martial arts was brilliant for them. It taught focus, self-confidence, discipline, self-control, mindfulness, health, fitness…everything that was important to me and what I taught at home was echoed at martial arts. And the class was taught by a young man, something the kids didn’t have at home.
By starting my own business, I was doing things a different way. Assuming that the current way things were done (to go out and get a job), was not the best way to do things. What was best for me and my family was to have a home-based business where I could control when I worked, and how much I worked.
I did things a different way and had a different result.
I began my own martial arts training. Based on the number of women in the class (less than 1%) I would say that kind of training wasn’t how things were usually done either. The mindfulness, confidence, health, fitness and self-control I learned and experienced in that program was life changing. On many levels. It was good for me, but all my kids were in the program as well, so it was something we shared together. I understood what it took for them to become blackbelts, and they understood what it took for me to become a blackbelt. We helped each other and all of us achieved success in our lives. We did not become a statistic.
We always did a family photo near Christmas, even before my husband died, so I continued that tradition. One year, we all wore our martial arts uniforms for the family photo. We were united and strong, even though the odds were stacked against us.
God is faithful, and His strength is made perfect in my weakness (2 Corinthians 12:9). Apart from Him, I can do nothing (John 15:5). He can make a way when there is no way (Isaiah 43:19). And our way was different than most others. Because the current way things are being done, isn’t necessarily the best way to do things.
Even now, when I have results I don’t like, I ask myself if there is another way to do things. Because maybe the current way I’m doing them is not the best way. And to keep doing the same thing and expecting a different result in insanity.
There is always another way to do things. If you have results you don’t like, try a different way, and get a different result. You might be pleasantly surprised.
